Wednesday, November 1, 2017

THE PAST: A FINAL FAREWELL: MONSTERS PART II

The past of my childhood taught me invaluable lessons. Torture and abuse that was intended to be curses have now become true survival blessings.

I can look back at the people and places of that era. Some are old and many have died; and can no longer perpetrate their evil and terror.

These atrocities happened when I was much smaller. Now I have grown mentally and emotionally taller. Let those who must wallow in the past, drown in that black hole squalor. 

Siblings and other relatives have remained stagnant and continue to cling to that time frame. I left the horror behind long ago.... and experienced healing from the guilt and shame.

I was away for quite a while. The main monster sibling convinced me that its ways had changed using the utmost guile. It smiled charmingly and pretended to have become a changed person. After being in the household it gradually lifted that hideous curtain.

Why,this entity even attempted to block my established objectives like long ago. Its eyes gleamed as it invited the childhood friends, its offspring, and even a feeble sibling for visits to witness the abuse for a sick dysfunctional show.

IT THOUGHT THAT I HAD FORGOTTEN........but, of course..I did not. This horror show transpired when I was so much smaller. Now I am immune..... and I have grown mentally and emotionally taller. Live in your self-hatred and shame...... as a proverbial pig enjoys  squalor.

Many hours on the telephone speaking about years ago. All nasty comments meant to wound and destroy. I recall that years ago this thing destroyed would even gleefully destroy my few cherished  toys.

This monster upheld the stepfather pedophile's actions and heaped upon a smaller sibling additional cruelty and  verbal abuse. It told our mother that I was a liar..... hence, reporting the violations was of no use.

 I AM SHOUTING THIS REFRAIN SO I CAN BE HEARD IN THE CHEAP SEATS!!!!:   For those horrific events occurred when I was so much smaller. The family monsters will never again cause pain or.. be a part of my life....and as such, I have grown mentally and emotionally taller. They alone are doomed to be trapped in the past..... to wallow in their self-imposed squalor.

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

MY OFFER

The friendship that I  offered you was a sword that cuts both ways.

Your response is your own business.......so do what you may.

My fantasies and dreams.... are off limits for you. Intimacy and sharing

are privileged not the rule.


And you over there in the corner.....yes, I have seen you over there. 

Did it ever occur to you that I no longer care ? Peering through that lens, you

will never truly live. I became free when I let it all go to forgive.



I remember the comfort of believing that you cared. The pretend man that you

showed me...... and the warmth that we shared. 

We did not fit together. But, instead of being cool, you made fun and demeaned

me. You are adept at being cruel. You will never see me. I offered my true self.

But, I am not willing to die alone waiting for you on a shelf.

Monday, January 30, 2017

TOASTMASTER

Let us raise our glasses to the naive fools who were
Gullible and followed the golden rules.

Although each false and vapid promise never came into fruition,
Here is a toast to You My Friend......for ignoring your intuition.

This is a drink to honor all.....Who for every lame excuse did eagerly Fall.
Blindly hoping that the friend, lover, or child....Would return the unconditional love. And, actually return that desperate phone call.

I raise my glass to all of us who have awakened to reality and Self-Disgust. We will never traverse this road again, When it is ourselves we begin to Trust.

One Day we will look back and ponder this when another tale is told.....We will nod our heads in
deep sympathy at another's worth undersold.

Advice will be given with tears held back.....Hoping to alleviate their pain. A secret sigh of relief escapes because we are now Immune to that Game.


Sunday, January 15, 2017

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

I have pretty much worked on myself daily since my second divorce. The pathway has been fraught with highs and lows.......and invaluable lessons that are now mine to retain.

I met a kindred spirit in this beautiful lady. She talked to me about dancing and the benefits that she has enjoyed. And nope, she did not wait for the "new year, new me" to start. The dancing has enhanced her life despite raising two children and working a full time job. This is beautiful Ms. M. with her lovely daughters and with partners from the Gypsy Viennese Waltz Routine performed in December 2016.

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Divorce Cost: Money Well Spent in My Opinion (ROBIN'S RANT) HOLIDAY CHEER.....NOTHING ABOUT DIVORCE !!!

I post jokes almost daily. What I have observed is the fact that many people fancy themselves as self-made critics of humor. But, in essence, they are on here to be with others and to hide behind the computer while doing so.......not for the enjoyment of the glorious humor and talent on Google + .  

So let me say this. I love to laugh. I laugh at and for myself. I do not require approval to laugh. However, yes, of course I want others to laugh as well, hence I share a lot of jokes. Now, the non-humorous among us can criticize. But, I challenge that person to post and submit their humor for others to share.

I just wanted to Rant a little. It's been a while because I am too busy laughing......LOL ! Well, fellow punsters.........SHALL WE ???? HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL........WINK, WINK !!!

Friday, September 30, 2016

THE HEART

The heart is a relentlessly valiant hunter, a truth that cannot be disguised.

Sensitivity inclined, to those who have known,

my Heart is forever behind my eyes. Many years in hiding, vowing to never tell. Life has often been a bumpy ride, a skateboard ride in hell.

Understand me now. I have forgiven you. Repentance is the companion of exoneration. I cannot

rewind the spool of time or return to this failed situation.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Freestyle Poem

There are not enough words to express
the anguish of change. Necessary but not necessarily mandatory.
A flow from therein that I had to learn.
what a fool has always known.......
Love  loves no one.


Can't sit still...... won't slow down. I have the love that I need. An oxygen within.
In passion I found my path to purpose. Driven, livin,...... containment for my instilled
disease of artist and words,

This is good stuff. Hungry for that fulfillment. I am close to the line of completion. Let it flow outward giving is getting me more. First step.......Admitted self powerless over the actions of others.
I loved and it was worth the lesson. No regrets.